Ironic

When is it easier to forgive?

Is it when the person who wrongs you recognizes the wrong done?

Is it when the person who causes you pain actually asks for forgiveness?

I believe the saddest thing that could ever happen is when the person who wrongs you fails to recognize the wrong done…

and leaves you to wonder why? and call it Christian?

and if it is not enough injury, the person adds insult to the other by pretending to own the pain. or at the very least pretend to share the pain. Ironic. no I call that Mockery.

That is twice the pain you have to handle and face.

Every single day you try…try to forgive, try to understand, or even try to fit the betrayer’s shoes.

but you struggle between anger and calm

between indifference and compassion

between holding on and letting go of the pain caused by rejections

between bouts of crying and more crying

between denial and acceptance…

that what you hold very dearly is gone…just like that

you tried to reach out anyway, but every time you do…

you are met with derision…in silence

as if telling you that nothing you do or do not do matters anymore.

many times that small voice in you tells you to meet with your pain in silence

but just this once silence speaks of that pain…that ugly mocking pain called betrayal.

and you know what is ironic?

you love the betrayer anyway…

which reminds me of the last stanza of the poem ‘I miss you’

The stanza goes…

“I like the part when. Where.

I am happy. Things happen so fast.

The clouds are swell. I have to go

Before it rains.”

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jdp_11/23/09